{"id":5124,"date":"2014-07-11T01:01:53","date_gmt":"2014-07-11T01:01:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/?p=5124"},"modified":"2014-08-15T15:37:48","modified_gmt":"2014-08-15T15:37:48","slug":"when-death-snatched-my-friend-away","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/?p=5124","title":{"rendered":"When death snatched my friend away"},"content":{"rendered":"

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope. <\/em>1 Thessalonians 4:13<\/p>\n

Elaine was part of the Tuesday\/Thursday Bible study I attended in college. I didn\u2019t know her very well; she only attended the university for a semester, but after she entered the work world, she and another young woman from the group shared a home near their places of work for a short time.<\/p>\n

Word started filtering back to me that Elaine and her friend were experiencing a \u201cEuodia and Syntyche\u201d situation.\u00a0 These were the women to whom the apostle Paul referred in his letter to the Philippians: \u201cI urge Euodia and I urge Syntyche to live in harmony in the Lord<\/em>\u201d (Philippians 4:2). Evidently, Eu and Syn were not getting along, and it appears that their issues were affecting the church. The same thing was happening with Elaine and the other gal.<\/p>\n

Although I didn\u2019t know Elaine very well, and the other lady was like Moses to me (she was the one who shared with me in-depth about water baptism and got the ball rolling for my \u201cdunking\u201d), I felt led to do what Paul admonished the Philippians to do for the sparring women: \u201cIndeed, true companion, I ask you also to help these women<\/strong> who have shared my struggle in the cause of the gospel, together with Clement also and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life<\/em>\u201d (Philippians 4:3). Elaine and her roommate lived between my parents\u2019 home in St. Louis and the little town in which I taught my first year after college. On\u00a0the way back to\u00a0my small town home following a visit with\u00a0my parents, I decided to \u201chelp these women<\/em>\u201d.<\/p>\n

“Euodia” wasn\u2019t home, but “Syntyche” (Elaine) was. We sat and talked together for an hour or so and prayed that God would bring peace and harmony back into the household. And then I hit the road, clueless to the fact that God had just laid the foundation for one of the most solid friendships of my life.<\/p>\n

I moved back to St. Louis after my first year of teaching while Elaine taught middle school math in rural Missouri. But the friendship thrived as we visited one another\u2019s homes at least once a year, and as we grew older, we visited\u00a0three, four, or five times each year. She was one of those rare people who \u201cgot\u201d me; my penchant for analyzing and \u201csolving\u201d world problems and issues in Christianity\u2014aligning the two with an eye to what God was saying and where we might be in relation to the end times\u2014tended to wear on others; they wanted to chat about lighter, more relational things\u2014who was getting married, who was doing this or that, who went to what church. Not Elaine; she and I discussed events and issues in light of the Word\u00a0hour after hour, solving and re-solving\u2014and praying about\u2014everything that came to mind.<\/p>\n

After nearly twenty years of friendship, Elaine was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. Again, we prayed together\u2014often\u2014and dug into the Word of God together to retrieve her complete healing from the Author of its pages. Before she went into her first surgery, she wrote the word \u201cSatan\u201d on the soles of her shoes, just to remind him of his position\u2014under her feet.<\/p>\n

She battled valiantly for four years\u2014even though initially she\u00a0was given\u00a0less than a year to live. Those four years were full for her; she continued teaching for the first three, wore a floppy hat over her bald head wherever she went (wigs were itchy), and lived in joy and expectation of a good outcome.<\/p>\n

We discussed her walk of faith and how strong she had grown as a result of her determined stance in the Lord. The thing that amazed me about Elaine was that her faith was not a denial of reality, nor was it a knee-jerk reaction to a fear of dying. She was walking through both the cancer and her faith hand in hand with Jesus, drawing near to Him.<\/p>\n

One day she shared this profound perspective with me. Unafraid of death, but desiring to live (she was in her forties), she said, \u201cDorothy, death is not failure or defeat. I see death as the safety net under this tightrope I am walking by faith. If for some reason I don\u2019t make it to the end, I\u2019ll\u00a0fall into the loving arms of Jesus.\u201d<\/p>\n

She refused to fear, whether cancer, chemo, life, death, or failure. She walked by faith, and in October, 1999, she stepped out of her body into eternity\u2014by faith.<\/p>\n

I lost a key person in my life when she went to Heaven\u2014a rare friend who \u201cgot\u201d me and loved me even when I was unlovable. And I mourned. I needed to. A place in my heart was instantly vacant; my friend who enjoyed and accepted me was no longer available.<\/p>\n

But I knew where she was; I knew that she now lived in the presence of the Lord whom she so intensely loved, respected, and enjoyed.<\/p>\n

Paul wrote, \u201cBut we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope<\/em>\u201d (1 Thessalonians 4:13). Some have interpreted this verse to mean that we should not\u00a0mourn the passing of our loved ones. I respectfully and vigorously disagree with that teaching. We grieve; but we do not grieve as the rest who have no hope<\/em>.<\/p>\n

When your friend is snatched away from you, it\u2019s agonizing. It\u2019s painful and you need to mourn the one who meant so much to you. Death is a part of life; so is mourning. Ecclesiastes 3:1 and 4 declares, “There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven\u2014a time to weep and a time to laugh;\u00a0a time to mourn<\/strong> and a time to dance<\/em>.” Psalm 116:15 assures us, “Precious in the sight of the LORD Is the death of His godly ones.<\/em>” God certainly understands our need to grieve; He Himself\u00a0is touched\u00a0by the preciousness of the saint who passes from earth to Heaven, and He does not take\u00a0their death\u00a0lightly. Neither should we.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

We\u00a0have freedom in Christ\u00a0to grieve the\u00a0departure of our loved one from our lives. But our grief is not the grief of those who are without Christ and devoid of hope, for\u00a0we know\u00a0that our friend\u00a0is\u00a0having the\u00a0time of\u00a0her life as\u00a0she joyfully embraces the King of kings and rejoices in\u00a0her new, eternal home.<\/p>\n

After Elaine passed, I had uneasy questions. This is normal when a faithful believer dies, especially when they are way too young and are standing in faith. In it all, however,\u00a0God comforted me and gave me peace about all of the whys and what ifs. I would like to\u00a0share\u00a0with you\u00a0how He did it.<\/p>\n

He gave me Psalm 131. Its simple message quieted and comforted my mind.<\/p>\n

“O LORD<\/span>, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty;<\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Nor do I involve myself in great matters,<\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Or in things too difficult for me.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Surely I have composed and quieted my soul;<\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Like a weaned child rests against his mother,<\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0My soul is like a weaned child within me.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0O Israel, hope in the LORD<\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0From this time forth and forever<\/em>.”<\/p>\n

The death of a loved one is a difficult thing to grasp, even\u00a0for\u00a0the most\u00a0fervent Christian. On the other hand, I am convinced that every one of our believing loved ones now in Heaven are 100% clear as to the “whys and what ifs” of their death, and I firmly believe that each one of them is A-OK with it. They likely don’t give it\u00a0a second\u00a0thought as they live out the adventure in that world\u2014an adventure\u00a0far greater than anything we could ever experience here.<\/p>\n

Because of the heavy and ponderous questions and\u00a0my inability to comprehend what is private between God and someone else, I have learned to be like that weaned child resting against\u00a0his mother. Some things are just too difficult for me, and I have given myself permission to be\u00a0OK with that. My friend is in Heaven, embracing the Lord; I am on earth resting against His heart. Anyway you look at it, that’s a good place to be.<\/p>\n

May the God of all comfort surround you with His peace at the time of your loss.<\/p>\n

Dorothy<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope. 1 Thessalonians 4:13 Elaine was part of the Tuesday\/Thursday Bible study I attended in college. I didn\u2019t know her very well; she only attended the university […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[44,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5124","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-death","category-prayerperspective"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5124","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5124"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5124\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5132,"href":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5124\/revisions\/5132"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5124"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5124"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5124"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}