{"id":7784,"date":"2017-04-05T23:46:43","date_gmt":"2017-04-05T23:46:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/?p=7784"},"modified":"2017-04-07T01:44:56","modified_gmt":"2017-04-07T01:44:56","slug":"abandon-the-quarrel-before-it-starts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/?p=7784","title":{"rendered":"Abandon the quarrel before it starts"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cThe beginning of strife is like letting out water, So abandon the quarrel before it breaks out<\/em>.\u201d Proverbs 17:14<\/p>\n

Have you ever waded into the breached dam of contention? Before you know it, you find yourself swept away in\u00a0a torrent of hurt feelings and strife. Family members\u00a0or friends dear to your heart seem like bitter enemies after\u00a0such an\u00a0encounter. Your soul stings with every thought of them; the pain\u00a0demands resolution, but fear of stepping back into the flood waters of angry words and dredged up past transgressions freezes you into inactivity.<\/p>\n

Perhaps you\u2019ve never experienced this. Perhaps you navigate relationships with grace, thoughtfulness, and dignity, confronting every disagreement with wisdom, kindness, and fairness, humbly taking into consideration your own weaknesses as well, bringing every potential conflict to a quick, peaceful, and loving resolution.<\/p>\n

I WISH I could say this about myself. I cannot. You see, I have found myself in the tango of turmoil more than once, even after swearing to myself \u201cNEVER AGAIN\u201d and committing to wise and peaceful discussions\u2014or deflections\u2014whichever seems to suit my fellow \u201cdisagreer\u201d.<\/p>\n

How, how, how, I asked myself recently, do I train myself to abandon the quarrel before it busts down the dam?<\/p>\n

Well, the Lord came through for me (yay, God!) with some instruction as I was seeking Him about this. Instruction is good; doing<\/em> it is better.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, living in this fallen world, I will have ample<\/em> opportunity to practice. Not sure I\u2019ll be\u00a0always be\u00a0proficient; but as\u00a0a child of the King, He will help me every time I fall\u00a0to get back up again. It is my fervent desire to grow in this and to put into practice what He has shown me.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the Scripture\u00a0the Lord\u00a0dropped on me as I prayed. First Corinthians 10:13 is a lengthy verse,\u00a0but it’s enormously helpful. It says<\/p>\n

\u201cNo temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Standing on the edge of an ill-advised quarrel is definitely a temptation. Your pulse quickens\u00a0as you think of\u00a0defending of your honor and exposing how very wrong the other person is. However,\u00a0throwing yourself\u00a0into\u00a0the quarrel sucks you right up the vacuum cleaner\u2014trapping you and your\u00a0“sparring partner”\u00a0with all of the other dirt!<\/p>\n

As I prayed about this verse, God plopped a four-point flow chart\u00a0down on the inside of me revealing how to deal with the beginning of strife, any time, any place. As an acronym, the first letters of the words He gave me spells the word “ALTAR”<\/strong>\u2014the very\u00a0spot\u00a0you must\u00a0place\u00a0yourself at the onset of strife\u2014that is, if you want to invite God’s intervention.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. ALERT!<\/strong> The Lord showed me that with my most recent quarrel, I had let down my guard. The quarrel had started before I even knew what was happening\u2014and soon enough, I was in the thick of things and neither of us were benefitted.\u00a0Had I been on the alert, I would have recognized the flashing warning signals…and I would have abandoned the quarrel before it started!\u00a0It is because we live in a fallen, troubled world that we must\u00a0be diligent\u00a0to maintain vigilant, prayerful alertness for the signs of impending \u201ctit-for-tat\u201d verbal \u201cslap fights\u201d (which sometimes manifest as “helpful insights”\u00a0into the other person’s secret motives or varied dysfunctions) before we get swept up in the flood of contention and hurt.<\/li>\n
  2. LOOK<\/strong> to the Lord. Once you realize that you and your friend are cruisin\u2019 for a contention bruisin\u2019, immediately force your attention to the One who loves both of you. Look to the Lord for help; don\u2019t look to your mental database for a quick list of past transgressions they\u2019ve committed against you. If you will take charge right then\u2014right when the strife starts\u2014and quietly invite the Lord into the conversation, I believe God will arrive on the scene to intervene.<\/li>\n
  3. TRUST<\/strong> Him. He has answers, solutions, and a way of escape. As you are busy trusting Him, your mind won\u2019t be hashing and rehashing your best comeback to their points against you. Trusting Him to do what He does best\u2014being God\u2014will open the door for Him to step into the middle of your situation.<\/li>\n
  4. AND<\/strong> (Don’t leave this\u00a0next part out!)<\/li>\n
  5. RECEIVE<\/strong> the way of escape. As soon as you are alert to the onset of strife, look to\u00a0God and trust Him to open up your escape route\u2026and He will. Your\u00a0next step? Abandon the quarrel, receive the way of escape He’ll provide\u2014and take<\/em> it…all the while resisting the urge to land one\u00a0last jab.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    I realize this\u00a0set of steps\u2014ALTAR<\/strong>\u2014seems simplistic. However, the weeks, months, and years of hurt and blame that emerge from the crippling incapacitation of verbal slap fights consisting of dominance-jockeying, recitation of past transgressions, labeling\/name-calling, and harsh judgments destroy relationships and send many lives down bitter dead-end paths of sullen despair, callous resentment, or defeated hopelessness.<\/p>\n

    By no means does Scripture teach that confrontation is always harmful; the Bible calls us to go to the brother who has offended and speak to him about it. It also urges us to go to the people we hurt and apologize. We are even called to bring a word of correction to one who has strayed. However, never are we commanded to jockey for dominance, recite old laundry-lists of transgressions, brand each other with demeaning\u00a0labels, or hit one another with harsh judgments.<\/p>\n

    May God help all of us as we navigate the ups and downs of every relationship in our lives.<\/p>\n

    Dorothy<\/p>\n

    If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.<\/em>\u00a0 Romans 12:1<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    \u201cThe beginning of strife is like letting out water, So abandon the quarrel before it breaks out.\u201d Proverbs 17:14 Have you ever waded into the breached dam of contention? Before you know it, you find yourself swept away in\u00a0a torrent of hurt feelings and strife. Family members\u00a0or friends dear to your heart seem like bitter […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7784","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daily-walk"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7784","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7784"}],"version-history":[{"count":33,"href":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7784\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7817,"href":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7784\/revisions\/7817"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7784"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7784"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7784"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}