What do you do when you feel hurt by someone else’s words or choices? Do you run through the list of all the times you’ve been disappointed by them and have been offended? Do you find yourself ruminating on the pain and who caused it?<\/p>\n
I found this definition of RUMINATION on VeryWell.com:<\/p>\n
“Rumination involves repetitive and passive thoughts focused on the causes and effects of a person’s distress. The problem is that these negative thoughts don’t lead to solutions.<\/p>\n
“We often slip into this type of thinking when we’re faced with a problem we want to solve. They tend to creep in when we’re stressed or dealing with something overwhelming. Instead of inspiring us to engage in active coping mechanisms or problem-solving strategies to relieve distress and improve mood, we often get stuck in a negative, self-sabotaging loop.”<\/p>\n
Don’t think you’re alone if you are dealing with “thought loops” involving how poorly someone or an organization has treated you. Join the club! This is common to all people.<\/p>\n
The trick is to DISCERN when you are running like a frenetic hamster through this negative loop…especially when your thoughts are focused on how evil someone else is.<\/p>\n
This is what I’ve had to deal with time and again. Step one is to RECOGNIZE the thought loop you’ve been caught up in. You’ve got to SEE it before you can DEAL with it.<\/p>\n
Then, as a person of faith, you need to EXPOSE the loop openly to both yourself and to God. Talk to Him about it. It’s OK to acknowledge the negative thoughts and feelings that have overwhelmed you. He knows all of it anyway. Let it all out before the Lord–the good, the bad, and the ugly. As you are doing so, there’s a good chance He will shed some light on the situation…and soften your ability to receive further help from Him. After all, the “devilish” goal of negative thought loops is to HARDEN your heart against others, both emotionally and in your thought processes.<\/p>\n
Next, if you haven’t done so yet, ask for His grace to forgive. Now, I have come to the conclusion that when I feel hurt by someone, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they TRULY wronged me. So often we get offended by others when they never MEANT to harm us. IMPORTANT: Other people are not always operating under the evil motives that we, in our woundedness, assign to them. Nonetheless, you MUST forgive them, whether they MEANT to hurt you or not. This is KEY to your FREEDOM from the loop.<\/p>\n
If you, like I have, find your thoughts going back to the hamster loop of negative thoughts even after initial forgiveness, understand that this is par for the course for us earthlings…even those of us who have placed our faith in Jesus and His mighty forgiveness. Just put the brakes back on that loop and reassert your forgiveness…and do so as long as those thoughts try to loop in your brain. Be persistent. Your mental health and peace will thank you.<\/p>\n
Next, when you deal with stopping the negative thought loop by taking it to the Lord and forgiving those who have offended you (whether they did so on purpose or not), it’s time to BLESS them before God. This part is crucial as well.<\/p>\n
How do you bless such people when the thought of them brings pain and exposes the deep woundedness you have felt? Isn’t it better (you may think) to expose their error and call out to God for judgment on them? Not so fast, Friend!<\/p>\n
Jesus said, “Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” Luke 6:28. Paul wrote in Romans 12:14, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.”<\/p>\n
After I go to the Lord, pour out my heart, forgive the one(s) who have caused distress for me (while recognizing that the individual(s) may not have intended to hurt me or target me at all), I dive into the BLESSING zone. I acknowledge how much God loves them, that He has a plan for their life, and that I CHOOSE to agree with Him that His plan for them is GOOD. I speak that out with as much faith as I can muster over them. I WANT them to be blessed and to have God move in their lives according to His purpose. I CAN pray this because as Romans 5:5 states, I have the love of God poured out in my heart through the Holy Spirit who was given to me.<\/p>\n
But, you may insist, THEY DID ME WRONG! They DESERVE to suffer for their actions!<\/p>\n
This very well may be true! BLESSING someone before God does NOT exempt them from His judgment; it actually PREPARES their heart for His CORRECTION in the most effective and merciful way for them to receive! As you BLESS them before God, you clear the pathway for whatever He needs to do to so that LIGHT will enter their minds and hearts, enabling them to see their need for correction, adjustment, repentance and bringing them to the feet of Jesus. If you cry out for SOULS, this is imperative as you pray, both for those who don’t know Jesus as Lord yet, AND for those who DO. THIS is how God manifests Himself to the various souls for whom you pray!<\/p>\n
One of the best benefits of BLESSING those who have hurt you is the empowering grace that will rise up within you…especially as you persist. Oh, the hamster loop of negative thoughts will find its way back to you “for a more opportune time” (Luke 4:13), but this will be your chance to step on the brakes once again, forgive, and bless! It’s really that simple.<\/p>\n
You may wonder, like I have, “What if someone REFUSES the kindness of the Lord, leading to repentance?” (Romans 2:4) This is where you continue to lean hard on the God who loves you and who will cause ALL things to work together for your good (Romans 8:28). Vindication belongs to HIM, not to you. HE will repay as He sees fit. YOU simply press into His mighty love for you and continue on the path of forgiveness and blessing He has laid out for you.<\/p>\n
There are occasions in which God will LEAD you to confront someone and speak to them concerning the wrong you have seen or experienced at their hand. Do so prayerfully and under the direction of His wisdom. Whether or not they apologize and repent is between them and the Lord. If He leads you to confrontation, it is because He wants to HELP them as well as you; saturate the “after-confrontation” time in prayer…forgiveness and blessing…as well.<\/p>\n
You are ONLY obligated to obey GOD, not to obey how OTHERS think you should deal with offenses. Trust HIM, talk to HIM, pour out your heart before HIM, forgive before HIM, and BLESS before HIM. He will READILY come to your assistance and aid.<\/p>\n
Blessings,<\/p>\n
Dorothy<\/p>\n
\u00a9 Dorothy Frick, 2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
What do you do when you feel hurt by someone else’s words or choices? Do you run through the list of all the times you’ve been disappointed by them and have been offended? Do you find yourself ruminating on the pain and who caused it? I found this definition of RUMINATION on VeryWell.com: “Rumination involves […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8972","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-prayerperspective"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8972","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8972"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8972\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8975,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8972\/revisions\/8975"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8972"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8972"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstofallpray.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8972"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}