Disregard

Part Four

Simmering under the surface in many marriages is a disregard and lack of appreciation, one spouse for the other. Every evening, sitcoms use this underlying disrespect as fodder for laughs as couples (married or not, heterosexual or not) battle it out with witty insults. And the unspoken message is that the winner is the one with the most dehumanizing, ourageous put downs.

Synonyms for the word disregard are: ignore, take no notice of, discount, pay no attention to, forget about, and disrespect. Do you ignore your spouse? Do you take no notice of her or pay no attention to him? Do you discount him or forget about her? Does your attitude and your behavior expose an underlying disrespect for your spouse?

I’m no marriage counselor, but I have caught myself in dismissive, bitter, and disrespectful attitudes, conversations, and behaviors toward others in my life. Try as I might to get God to fix the offending one for me, He wouldn’t budge! And then I realized it—God’s concern with me is what I do about my part, not how He and I can fix someone else! That bothered me a lot; I wanted the other person to feel how much they hurt me; I would have liked for them to get hit over the head with how wrong they were!

Go figure—God made me repent about my attitude toward my offenders! But along with the adjustment in attitude He directed me to make, He also showed me that wrong behavior is wrong behavior, and He doesn’t endorse it in anyone.

What works for me may work for you, too, when you find yourself in strife. I pull aside, allow myself to focus on the Lord, and acknowledge that He made both of us—myself and my human antagonist. I thank Him that He loves both of us and that Jesus died for both of us. And if the one who offended me is a believer, I trust that the God who dwells in me dwells in him, as well. I forgive him and then tell God, “If the veil was torn away, and he (she) could see clearly how hurt I was by his [words, actions, attitude, snubbing, etc.], I know that he (she) would fall to the ground, cry, tear his garment, and beat his hands and feet on the ground in sorrow over the pain he caused me.” Then compassion for his (her) agony of repentance rises up in me and I am able to forgive him cleanly, whether I see the fruit of it yet or not. If unforgiveness raises its ugly head within me again, I just pray the same way again and watch it flee from me. (After I’ve prayed such prayers and have truly forgiven people from the heart, I’ve experienced the softening of  attitudes toward me as well as apologies given—more than once.)

Sometimes, however, the One you are ignoring, paying no attention to, or disrespecting is God Himself.

Romans 1:20-21 states the case that humans, from antiquity on, have known God; since creation His invisible qualities and divine nature have been clearly seen and are understood through simple observation of all that He has made.

Our generation fits this description every bit as much as those alive in Bible times: “For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened” (Romans 1:21).

Of all the undermining behaviors I’ve written about this week—role-reversal, control, and passivity—I believe that disregard for God is at the root of all of them. You know God; do you honor Him as God? You see the majesty of God in nature; do you give Him the thanks He deserves?

When you honor and thank God as a way of life, your heart and mind are guarded in Christ Jesus (see Philippians 4:6-7). This gives the act of thanking God a protective edge. When you acknowledge Him, when you give Him praise, when you thank Him in your life—especially on an ongoing basis—your human tendencies toward role-reversal, control, nagging, or passivity are less likely to dominate your personality. As you make it your business to acknowledge God with a thankful heart everyday, the deceptive, seductive, degrading suggestions by the culture and the enemy cannot find a foothold in your life. When you disregard the practice of thanking and acknowledging God, you are more likely to fall into the mindsets and behaviors described in the rest of Romans 1.

The take away from all of this is to tackle every thought, suggestion, mindset, emotion, offense, and worldview that comes your way with an eye toward the Word of God, acknowledging God as God, and thanking Him for being your God.

Keep yourself on firm footing by refusing to disregard God or His Word in your life any longer. He is God, and as you acknowledge Him as God and give Him the ongoing thanks He deserves, you will find yourself growing in wisdom and clarity about the world around you and His will for you in it.

Thanksgiving is a force that will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

Be bold in your acknowledgement of Him and stay thankful,

Dorothy