Role-reversal
Part One
I’ve never married, but I go to a church that is very family-oriented, and I’ve heard many messages on healthy relationships and how to keep the balance within marriage partnerships.
I’ve also lived a lot of life and have observed the whole gamut of marriages, from the best to the worst, both among Bible-believing couples and those with less interest in Christ. And working with singles, I have prayed and cried with more than one devastated soul as they attempted to crawl out from under the wreckage of a marriage or relationship they once thought was rock-solid.
One thing central to each marriage mess up, I’ve observed, is a blurring of personal boundaries within those relationships and an accumulated disrespect of partners over time for the value and distinct personhood of the other. Whether it’s overstepping boundaries in the marriage covenant or a passive-aggressive refusal to do one’s part to grow the relationship, lines of courtesy are crossed and the human value of someone once cherished is cheaply discarded.
And again, as someone who has not been married one day of her life, I’ve just given you the full extent of my wisdom on marriage. However, as a human who has had a 38-year ongoing relationship with God, the mistakes we make with Him are strikingly similar to some of the undermining behaviors in marriage. This week, I want to write about four of them: role-reversal, control/nagging, passive inactivity, and lack of appreciation and regard.
Our culture delights in role-reversal; as a teacher in public school, I was instructed by the “PC police” to display boys and girls in non-traditional roles, whether I chose posters for the wall or wrote word problems for math. As a believer, however, I was sensitive to each child’s strengths and weaknesses, and sought to empower each one—including boys interested in more “masculine” pursuits and girls interested in more “feminine” pursuits. Why re-engineer what God had set in motion and viewed as “very good”?
Similarly, one of the greatest destabilizing challenges that you as a Christian may deal with in your relationship with God is that of “role-reversal”.
Simply put, God is God and you are you. He is not you; you are not Him. Many believers can spot a woman who is attempting to take over her husband’s role from miles away. And yet, there is an almost epidemic phobia rampant in the Church in regard to acknowledging your own humanity and vulnerability. Why is this? I think it’s because of a skewed concept of what being a new creation in Christ is all about.
You’d better believe that in Christ your sins are washed away; in Christ you are a new creation and you have been made the righteousness of God in Him (see 2 Cor. 5:17, 21). As you embrace these truths, you are liberated into a new freedom in your walk with God. Just as a young woman is liberated to experience the full-range of emotions and joy in her new marriage covenant with her husband, so too is the new believer free to walk in the grace, righteousness, and power of God.
However, if that same young woman determined that by virtue of marriage, she was now the husband, himself, you would advise her to see a counselor or shrink, post-haste!
And yet, have you experienced a subtle pressure to portray that you have it all together because of your relationship with Christ? I know I have in my Christian walk, and those are the times I’ve been the most miserable. I’m telling you, that pressure does not come from God! You’re in relationship with Him, but you’re not Him. All the blessings and promises that He has poured out on you are not competitive devices by which He expects you to prove yourself to the rest of the Church or the world. No! What He pours on you and into you is due to His great love for you and for those to whom He sends you. You’re not in a God-apprenticeship, so stop expecting yourself to become Him!
When I learned to embrace my role as the human in my relationship with God is when I stopped yielding to the pressure to “be” God. I don’t have to have it all together because I know the One who does. I don’t have to have all the answers because I am deeply loved by the One who understands everything. Being the human in my relationship with God has given me the courage to face the chaotic flow of national and world events because I know I don’t have to figure them out or fix them. I just know that in my role as human, I have the right and responsibility to ask my God to intervene. And as a human, I then listen for Him, my God, to instruct me as to my part in bringing about solutions. Then I do my part, and leave the results to Him.
If you are under pressure to “perform” in your Christian walk, then possibly you have entered into role-reversal without knowing it. I challenge you: step back, delight in God as God, and fully enjoy the fact that you are the human in this relationship. It will set you free.
Dorothy the Human
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The power of dry times
We cry out for the grace of God to be able to seek Him, and He gladly endues us with His grace and power. We, in turn, are strengthened and sustained and get much accomplished in life and in prayer.
Then the rest of life happens, distractions or fatigue set in, and we feel like deadweight in regard to anything spiritual. And we think we have blown it—“how could I have fallen so far?”
Have you forgotten how you rose up in spiritual strength to begin with? It was never by your own power, holiness, or deeply spiritual ways. Remember when you cried out to the Lord for help to follow and obey Him? You acknowledged then that your own ability was insufficient. What makes you suppose that you should be able to sustain yourself now?
I propose that our dry times are every bit as powerful as those times we walk in the ease of spiritual strength. Here’s why: Our times of spiritual drought bring us to one conclusion–that He is Lord, we are not, and that we desperately need Him no matter how mature or equipped in the things of God we may become.
So when you hit a dry time, rejoice. You have the opportunity once again to acknowledge your humanness and to declare your utter dependence on the living God.
And as you draw near to Him, He will draw near to you as well.
- Are you so foolish? Although you began with the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by human effort? Galatians 3:3, NET Bible
- And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 2 Corinthians 12:9, NASB
- But we have this treasure in clay jars to show that its extraordinary power comes from God and not from us. 2 Corinthians 4:7, International Standard Version
When you experience drought, spend some time rejoicing in the fact that He is God and you aren’t; He is the Source and you never will be. Then any pressure to become a perfect spiritual specimen will roll right off of you as you relax in the blessed truth that you’re not Him—He is! Be comforted in this, and let Him overshadow you again, filling you with the knowledge of His presence and His merciful grace.
Dorothy
Read MoreIndependence Weekend: Why I pray for America
Hope you had a safe and blessed Independence Day. Since it is a holiday weekend, I will be taking the rest of the weekend off from my blog to celebrate the freedom this nation still enjoys (and by the grace of God, will increasingly embrace and defend).
I wanted to repeat a portion of what I wrote on June 12. This is because it is my passion to inspire you to continue to take your place before God on behalf of our nation, standing in the gap wherever He places you and in the manner in which He leads you. No one is a non-essential partner in this massive prayer initiative; you just have a differing role to play and a custom-made way in which He uses you. And you do have a role; you are used before the Throne of God in a unique, perfect-for-you approach. This nation needs you to refuse to back off in prayer on her behalf.
This is why I pray for America:
As I look at my nation, I must pray. It’s in my DNA; it is built into the very fabric of my relationship with God. When I see obstacles in my nation, I am challenged by my rich heritage to stand my ground and trust God. I feel I owe it to the Founders who pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor to guard, nurture, protect, and defend the fledgling nation. I owe it to Charles Finney, D. L. Moody, William J. Seymour, Billy Sunday, Aimee Semple McPherson, and all the rest, both known and unknown, who took full advantage of their American liberty to pour out their lives for the cause of Christ. I owe it to my dad, who although he never claimed to know God intimately, was willing as a young man to risk his life in the service of a country which guaranteed that his daughter, yet to be born, would bear the sacred right to lead her own life, speak openly, and worship God freely without fear.
I must pray. I must pray the Word of God over my nation. I must seek her deliverance when evil threatens her. I must stand my ground even if it takes the rest of my life. I can do no less, so help me God.
God bless you and God bless the U.S.A! Don’t give up on her!
Dorothy
Read MorePraying for America on her birthday
I love being prayed for on my birthday. About a decade ago, however, I realized that I never really prayed for America on her birthday. So I started a new personal tradition—every 4th of July morning, I spend some quality time praying for my nation.
Each year is different. Some years I pray about issues. Other years, I pray for specific government leaders. One year, I gathered a group of praying people at my home for breakfast and we interceded primarily for the church in America.
With so many different national concerns to bring before the Father, you may wonder where to begin. You have a unique and specific piece to this puzzle about which to pray, so a good place to start is to ask God! I’ve noticed that as I spend time thanking, praising, or worshiping Him, a direction typically bubbles up from my spirit, and I pray over that in whatever way I sense the Lord is leading me.
Let me tell you what happened on the morning of July 4th, 2009. I began praising God and seeking Him about His specific prayer direction for the nation. I expected to pray for the president or for one of the many issues our nation was facing at the time.
Instead, I couldn’t get the portion of Scripture I had read earlier in the morning out of my mind. It was Luke 2:41-51, about twelve-year old Jesus’ adventure in Jerusalem. Verse 43 haunted me. “…the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. But His parents were unaware of it.” Panic began gripping my insides as evidently I was relating on a very deep level to what Mary and Joseph must have felt when it dawned on them that their Son had been missing for an entire day! (Things were a little different back then when communities traveled in a caravan. Back off of the lawsuits against Joseph and Mary, OK?)
I reread verses 44-46. “…[They] went a day’s journey; and they began looking for Him among their relatives and acquaintances. When they did not find Him, they returned to Jerusalem looking for Him. Then, after three days they found Him...” My attention was fixed upon the horror of having a missing child, not knowing whether he was dead or alive. Since I could not shake the sense of heaviness, I yielded to it and began praying for the children and teens of the nation.
In particular, that July 4th Saturday morning, I found myself praying for all children, ages 0-18, to be safe in their activities for the entire holiday weekend. I prayed against children getting separated from their parents and teens losing their friends in a crowd. I prayed in the name of Jesus against abduction attempts of all sorts—that they would be thwarted and for adults in charge of kids to be on high alert.
When I realized that I had prayed along this line most of the morning, I honestly felt a tad disappointed. I had wanted to pray for the nation, but I ran out of time and needed to leave for a holiday event. But on the inside of me, I sensed the correction of God. “You did pray for the nation.”
Monday evening, July 6th, I was in the kitchen listening to the teasers opening the local news from the TV in the other room. “Tonight we will take you to a local church where an alert volunteer stopped a child abduction Sunday morning.”
I dropped what I was doing and raced to the living room, waiting for the opening story. And this is what I learned.
A 10-year old girl was attending children’s church Sunday morning at the church I used to attend. A registered sex offender–a pedophile–had been skulking outside her class, unobserved. He motioned to her to step outside, and when she walked into the hall to see what he wanted, he put his arm around her and started walking her out of the building. However, an alert volunteer noticed what was going on just in time and abruptly demanded the offender to stop. The girl was led to safety by another volunteer and the pedophile was arrested.
I remembered my intense time of prayer two days before on the 4th, interceding to thwart child abductions. I realized that God’s desire is for each of us to yield to His leading, whatever that may be, and as we do, our prayers will hit the target. And as more and more of us make ourselves available to God to direct us in prayer on behalf of the nation, more and more bull’s-eyes will be hit, effectively producing the change we long for in America and around the world.
Have a happy and safe Fourth of July!
Dorothy
Read MoreJugglers
“But evil men and impostors will proceed from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.” 2 Timothy 3:13, NASB
“But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived.” 2 Timothy 3:13, KJV
In the King James Version of 2 Timothy 3:13, impostors are called “seducers”. According to the Encarta Dictionary, a seducer is a persuader who uses deception to get what he or she wants sexually. However, the same reference further reveals that the term isn’t limited to sexual enticement; a seducer also tries to talk someone into doing other things they wouldn’t normally do by painting a picture of how “amazing” or “truly noble” those things are. Lastly, the same source states that the term seducer can be used to describe a person who manipulates others into giving them their support or agreement.
The term “impostor” used in the NASB indicates the false, illegitimate character of this type of person, whereas “seducer” further reveals the manipulative, self-serving motivation lurking within the individual.
Now look at the Greek definition for the word impostor. That word is goēs and indicates not only a deceiver and an impostor, but also reveals some other very interesting peculiarities (see < http:// www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G1114&t=KJV >).
The first definition right out of the box for this Greek word is “a wailer” and “a howler”. Remember, impostors lie and manipulate, so this wailing and howling is not the genuine cry of pain or remorse—no, the wail and howl of an impostor is a grand charade in the interest of furthering his agenda to con and deceive. Would you be surprised to learn that one of the strategies which activist Saul Alinsky included in his book, Rules for Radicals, to force societal change was to loudly, disruptively, and continuously complain–to howl and wail–against the status quo?
Another definition of goēs is an enchanter, who, according to the source, would utter incantations in a sort of a howl.
But to me, the most intriguing definition of all is included in the second meaning along with enchanter: a juggler. You may wonder how this word, juggler, could possibly be related to impostor or seducer. This is where it gets very interesting.
Think about this: information—extremely important information—gets thrown at Americans constantly. Any attempt to make sense of current events is dizzying and makes you feel as if you are watching…well, a multi-object juggling routine in hyper-speed! You start to learn about one change in society and before you know it, a second, and then a third, and then a fourth fly into view. Changes in health care laws, changes in gun laws, changes in privacy concerns for travel, communication, etc., changes in the military, changes in taxation, changes in prices, changes in the genetic makeup of food, changes in voting laws, changes in immigration, changes in age-old marriage definitions, changes in regulations, changes in China, Russia, and the middle-east, predicted changes in America’s status as the world’s economic leader and number 1 super-power, changes in what is commonly accepted as right and wrong—all these things and so much more fly at us from every direction at the speed of light.
Most of us do not have the reading capacity of JFK who was reported to read four newspapers in 15 minutes every day. And yet the juggling of volumes of important, highly detailed events before our eyes daily intensifies more and more, mocking our inability to comprehend even one piece, let alone grasp the entire scope of information.
Most people just throw their hands up in the air, let the info fall to the ground, and walk away. Who can keep up with it all?
I propose that this is by design to keep men and women of good will and honest heart off-balance as they attempt to bring order to chaos.
But I believe with all my heart that there is a strategy from the Throne Room of God to empower His people to deal effectively in the face of this constant juggling act of disastrous, poisonous events.
It was rumored that baseball legend Ted Williams was able to see, as if frozen in space, the seams on any fastball hurled his way. Could it be that God has been “magnifying your vision” with one or two of the very serious issues facing our nation? Are you passionate about any of the above listed changes going on in our culture? What angers you? What makes you uneasy? What is attempting to rob your peace? Could it be that the issues that bug you the most are the “seams on the baseball” flying at you? Could it be that the Living God has prompted your ire and is giving you the assignment to hit that issue out of the park in consecrated, heartfelt prayer?
It is my belief that God’s will in these difficult days is to freely send assignments to His men and women, boys and girls, “freezing in space” for each one of us the details about whatever He prompts us to pray for. Look. He’s so much greater than any impostor, seducer, or juggler of oppression that ever existed.
So when you see alarming information being juggled at warp-speed before your eyes, thank God that He has His “Ted Williams” prayer people stepping up to the plate all over the nation and around the world, ready, waiting, bats in hand, anticipating those fastballs, and, seeing the seams, prayer muscles bulging, swing with a force that could only come from God and connect—sending those balls way out of the park.
Get ready to play ball, Ted Williams—you.
Dorothy
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