Dealing with rumination according to the Word
What do you do when you feel hurt by someone else’s words or choices? Do you run through the list of all the times you’ve been disappointed by them and have been offended? Do you find yourself ruminating on the pain and who caused it?
I found this definition of RUMINATION on VeryWell.com:
“Rumination involves repetitive and passive thoughts focused on the causes and effects of a person’s distress. The problem is that these negative thoughts don’t lead to solutions.
“We often slip into this type of thinking when we’re faced with a problem we want to solve. They tend to creep in when we’re stressed or dealing with something overwhelming. Instead of inspiring us to engage in active coping mechanisms or problem-solving strategies to relieve distress and improve mood, we often get stuck in a negative, self-sabotaging loop.”
Don’t think you’re alone if you are dealing with “thought loops” involving how poorly someone or an organization has treated you. Join the club! This is common to all people.
The trick is to DISCERN when you are running like a frenetic hamster through this negative loop…especially when your thoughts are focused on how evil someone else is.
This is what I’ve had to deal with time and again. Step one is to RECOGNIZE the thought loop you’ve been caught up in. You’ve got to SEE it before you can DEAL with it.
Then, as a person of faith, you need to EXPOSE the loop openly to both yourself and to God. Talk to Him about it. It’s OK to acknowledge the negative thoughts and feelings that have overwhelmed you. He knows all of it anyway. Let it all out before the Lord–the good, the bad, and the ugly. As you are doing so, there’s a good chance He will shed some light on the situation…and soften your ability to receive further help from Him. After all, the “devilish” goal of negative thought loops is to HARDEN your heart against others, both emotionally and in your thought processes.
Next, if you haven’t done so yet, ask for His grace to forgive. Now, I have come to the conclusion that when I feel hurt by someone, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they TRULY wronged me. So often we get offended by others when they never MEANT to harm us. IMPORTANT: Other people are not always operating under the evil motives that we, in our woundedness, assign to them. Nonetheless, you MUST forgive them, whether they MEANT to hurt you or not. This is KEY to your FREEDOM from the loop.
If you, like I have, find your thoughts going back to the hamster loop of negative thoughts even after initial forgiveness, understand that this is par for the course for us earthlings…even those of us who have placed our faith in Jesus and His mighty forgiveness. Just put the brakes back on that loop and reassert your forgiveness…and do so as long as those thoughts try to loop in your brain. Be persistent. Your mental health and peace will thank you.
Next, when you deal with stopping the negative thought loop by taking it to the Lord and forgiving those who have offended you (whether they did so on purpose or not), it’s time to BLESS them before God. This part is crucial as well.
How do you bless such people when the thought of them brings pain and exposes the deep woundedness you have felt? Isn’t it better (you may think) to expose their error and call out to God for judgment on them? Not so fast, Friend!
Jesus said, “Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” Luke 6:28. Paul wrote in Romans 12:14, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.”
After I go to the Lord, pour out my heart, forgive the one(s) who have caused distress for me (while recognizing that the individual(s) may not have intended to hurt me or target me at all), I dive into the BLESSING zone. I acknowledge how much God loves them, that He has a plan for their life, and that I CHOOSE to agree with Him that His plan for them is GOOD. I speak that out with as much faith as I can muster over them. I WANT them to be blessed and to have God move in their lives according to His purpose. I CAN pray this because as Romans 5:5 states, I have the love of God poured out in my heart through the Holy Spirit who was given to me.
But, you may insist, THEY DID ME WRONG! They DESERVE to suffer for their actions!
This very well may be true! BLESSING someone before God does NOT exempt them from His judgment; it actually PREPARES their heart for His CORRECTION in the most effective and merciful way for them to receive! As you BLESS them before God, you clear the pathway for whatever He needs to do to so that LIGHT will enter their minds and hearts, enabling them to see their need for correction, adjustment, repentance and bringing them to the feet of Jesus. If you cry out for SOULS, this is imperative as you pray, both for those who don’t know Jesus as Lord yet, AND for those who DO. THIS is how God manifests Himself to the various souls for whom you pray!
One of the best benefits of BLESSING those who have hurt you is the empowering grace that will rise up within you…especially as you persist. Oh, the hamster loop of negative thoughts will find its way back to you “for a more opportune time” (Luke 4:13), but this will be your chance to step on the brakes once again, forgive, and bless! It’s really that simple.
You may wonder, like I have, “What if someone REFUSES the kindness of the Lord, leading to repentance?” (Romans 2:4) This is where you continue to lean hard on the God who loves you and who will cause ALL things to work together for your good (Romans 8:28). Vindication belongs to HIM, not to you. HE will repay as He sees fit. YOU simply press into His mighty love for you and continue on the path of forgiveness and blessing He has laid out for you.
There are occasions in which God will LEAD you to confront someone and speak to them concerning the wrong you have seen or experienced at their hand. Do so prayerfully and under the direction of His wisdom. Whether or not they apologize and repent is between them and the Lord. If He leads you to confrontation, it is because He wants to HELP them as well as you; saturate the “after-confrontation” time in prayer…forgiveness and blessing…as well.
You are ONLY obligated to obey GOD, not to obey how OTHERS think you should deal with offenses. Trust HIM, talk to HIM, pour out your heart before HIM, forgive before HIM, and BLESS before HIM. He will READILY come to your assistance and aid.
Blessings,
Dorothy
© Dorothy Frick, 2026
Read MoreBlessed when insulted?
“Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” Matthew 5:11-12
We don’t typically think of this as being blessed. But it is! 🥰
We all misunderstand others at times. As a result, our words can be harsh and vindictive. Others can misunderstand and misidentify OUR motives as well and be judgmental in their assessment of who we truly are.
The Lord was not unaware of this very human tendency of ours. That’s why He said that insults against you as a result of your walk with Him are actually a blessing…because the only One whose assessment of you that REALLY matters sits on an Eternal Throne, and He sees the hearts and motives of all and assesses all with righteous judgment.
Are you being corrected by someone? Take it to Him who judges all and learn what He would have you to say, do. and/or adjust—if anything—according to His assessment. Are you being insulted? Let Him handle it. He was insulted by souls far better at it than those who have chosen to turn on you. He knows why they do this, and He will deal with it one way or another—according to what HE sees fit, not you. If your name gets trampled, oh well! The Lord’s name was despised by many in His 3 years of ministry on earth and His name—especially now—is frequently turned into a curse and His life, death, and resurrection a mockery. But the Ancient of Days is not deterred. He will have His way even when it appears He will not. Count on it. Treasure that truth in your heart.
But please remember. Even though you may be insulted, mocked, shunned, whatever—know that your God LOVES the insulters, mockers, and shunners every bit as much as He loves you. He desires to correct them even as He wants to correct you—if allowed—so TRUST HIM when these things arise. He is a very present help in trouble. He is the Master of turning things—even ugly things—around for good to those who lean hard on Him and who desire to obey Him.
Remember. You will NOT stand before the throne of anyone on that Day but that of your God, the Father of the LORD Jesus Christ. And THEN you will give an account of yourself—and ONLY of yourself—before Him. His assessment—then AND now—is the ONLY assessment that truly matters. Ever.
Dorothy
© Dorothy Frick, 2026
Read MoreAre you living like it’s Saturday?
[Here is some background on this entry I posted in 2018:
Eight years ago on the Saturday before Easter, it was a dark, rainy, gloomy day. My cat Gideon was in late-stage kidney disease, and his buddy Rowe wasn’t acting right; he’d fall down and yowl in pain from time to time. I knew something was wrong with him; I just didn’t know what. Then that Saturday before Easter, I found a full feline canine tooth on my kitchen floor. It was Rowe’s…which only kicked up my despair and foreboding to panic level.
It was in that very circumstance I wrote the following blog entry. I hope this speaks to you.]
Are you living like it’s Saturday?
For most of us, Saturday means this:
Projects. Pastimes. Parties. Plans. Playing.
Rest. Recreation. Recuperation. Recharging.
But once, a couple of thousand years ago, there was a Saturday unlike any other Saturday. That day, like every other Saturday before it and after it, was sandwiched between a Friday and a Sunday. But those two days (as you can imagine) were unlike any other Friday or Sunday before or after.
On that Friday a group of friends witnessed the vile, unjustified arrest of their Friend, a blatantly rigged trial, and a patently predetermined death verdict. They watched helplessly as their Friend was dragged away, flogged, and beaten beyond recognition.
The hope which permeated His every word burned in their own hearts, stoked by the power of His presence. He was the One. He was the Messiah; but here He was now, brutally cut down as they heaved Him high on the crossbeams, slamming His tormented body into place for all to see…to mock, to jeer…
Hope was fading. Joy had withered away. Their Friend, the One who had healed the sick and raised the dead, was gone. His lifeless body was laid in a tomb with a stone covering it so decay could finish its slow work unmolested.
It was Saturday. A numb, raw, gloomy Saturday.
Sunday had not yet arrived.
Now, you and I know what that particular Sunday had in store for His friends…for the world…and for you and me. We know of the pre-dawn rendezvous at the tomb; the rolled-away stone; the discarded burial ointments and herbs when once the strange salutation was spoken, “Why do you seek the Living among the dead? He is not here. He is risen.”
Now, we, like His friends of old, know Him. We have walked with Him and have talked with Him. We know He is risen, He is alive, and because of that, we know that we too are alive in Him.
But today I heard the Lord ask me, “Are you living like it’s Saturday?”
It jolted me. Was I? Was I, a friend of the crucified One, so saddened by losses and weighed down by the perplexities of life, living as if it were only Saturday? Was I living a pre-Sunday life?
I KNOW BETTER.
I had to come to terms with the Truth: It’s not Saturday anymore!
Jesus conquered death. He conquered sin. He conquered pain. He is the Way-Maker when there is no way; He is the Quiet in every storm; He is the Light that overcame darkness—and He is my God. He who crushed the serpent’s head and pulled me out of self-destruction can walk me through torrential winds or crashing waves to the other side—Safely. Unscathed. Strengthened in hope and in faith.
I’ve made up my mind. I refuse to live like it’s Saturday ever again. For me, it’s Sunday now.
Dorothy
“Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God…When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.” (Colossians 3:1, 4).
© 2018, Dorothy Frick; reposted 2026
Read MoreA Christmas crisis
I was facing a small-scale crisis on Christmas morning that could have become a HUGE crisis after the sun went down IF it had been left undealt with.
After talking with and praying with a couple of friends about it and learning that it would cost $600 for the appropriate company to just LOOK AT this issue on the holiday, let alone it would probably have to be left unrectified until the 26th anyway, I decided to just wait until the next day…even though that could put me in potential danger overnight.
I thought of another friend who has skill in various things mechanical and texted the situation. He said he could look at it in about an hour.
In the meantime, I worked at keeping my emotions in check. Although I did cry (at first tears of “why me?” and frustration); but then after reading an absolutely random scripture in a translation I am unfamiliar with, those tears turned to faith and trust and soon became tears of thankfulness and praise to God for His faithfulness.
You see, while I was waiting, I opened up the “Streams in the Desert” devotional online and started to read the Christmas Day entry (something I rarely do anymore).
The second scripture was a translation of Isaiah 9:6 that I had never read before…and it pierced my heart with a bullseye.
This is how Isaiah 9:6 reads in my familiar translation:
“For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us;
And the government will rest on His shoulders;
And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.” (NASB, 1995)
But online, the verse I saw was this: (heart-piercing bullseye in CAPS)
“For a child has been born to us, a son has been given to us. HE SHOULDERS RESPONSIBILITY AND IS CALLED: EXTRAORDINARY STRATEGIST, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” (NET Bible)
It dawned on me! He shoulders responsibility for ME–NOT just for the government–MY safety. MY help. MY life–IF I will simply trust Him to do so, obey Him, and love Him!
And it also hit me that this Wonderful Counselor we hear about at Christmas is 100% an EXTRAORDINARY STRATEGIST, brilliant in all things and kinder than the most patient earthly counselor. He KNOWS how to effectively strategize for MY situation…if I will simply trust Him to do so!
My mechanically shrewd friend arrived, fixed the issue in 40 or so minutes…and was on his way!
My Christmas Day (and night!) was rescued, and I now have a clearer understanding of my EXTRAORDINARY STRATEGIST God who SHOULDERS RESPONSIBILITY…not just for others, but for ME and ALL those who are willing to trust Him through the difficulties of life we all face.
What a remarkable Christmas gift from My Father…the knowing that He will shoulder responsibility and will be my Extraordinary Strategist throughout the remainder of my days!
Let me never forget! I hope you come to know Him in this way as well!
Dorothy
© Dorothy Frick, 2024
Read MoreMy Christmas Eve prayer for you
This Christmas Eve, whether your home is as colorful as a carnival, as turbulent as a tornado, or as quiet as a mouse, I want to offer up a prayer for you from my heart.
For my friends who feel all too keenly the absence of loved ones who are no longer with you, I pray for the calm and deep comfort of the Lord to well up within you and gird you with grace and strength. May you be blessed with the gift of “touch”—knowing that just as your loved ones’ lives touched yours, so too, does your life touch those around you very deeply; and may you feel the depth of God’s gentle love for you. And in the coming year as you reach out to those He brings your way, may you find grace to comfort them with the comfort with which you have been comforted.
For my friends who brace yourselves for the storm clouds of strife that invariably blow your way this time of year, I pray for the love of God to overtake you so that you will have the grace to speak blessing where there is cursing. May you be a peacemaker in the midst of strife and a refuge of safety in the midst of turmoil. I pray that He will give you the gift of “hearing” so that as you navigate through the noise and agitation, you will hear with clarity this is the way in which you should walk; these are the words I want you to say. I pray that the Lord will go before you and make the rough places smooth and that His glory will be your rear guard. And may the seeds of peace and love and life that you sow—even in the midst of the storm—be cultivated by God in the upcoming year to produce the powerful fruit of salvation and wholeness in the lives of those you love.
For my friends who feel isolated, lonely, and without a family to call your own, I pray that the presence of God will overtake you, not only in your spirit, but also in your mind and emotions. I pray you receive the gift of “taste” so that you may taste and see that the Lord is good. May you recognize the breadth, length, height, and depth of your acceptance in the Beloved, and may you experience, in a very real way, the intensity of the love that God personally has for you. May the coming year bring deeper friendships, warmer connections, and a greater number of mutually satisfying godly relationships into your life. May you learn to expect and receive these blessings; and may you, my friend, be a blessing in the lives of others.
For my friends who know you are fortunate to have all of your loved ones around the table again this year, yet who nonetheless feel let down by life, I pray that you receive the gift of “seeing”. May you see, by the Spirit of God, how precious each life really is; may you recognize the wealth of connection you have been granted; and may you receive wisdom from on high so you may further nurture and cultivate each treasured life given to you. May you see and experience how truly rich you are, and may the upcoming year bring forth great fruitfulness in your life.
For my friends who are harried and hassled and stretched to the limit by the demands at this time of year, I pray you find that place of quiet and refuge in the Lord, to take a breath, and to let His soothing presence minister rest and grace to your soul. May you receive the gift of “smell”—the ability to pause and smell the cinnamon, the evergreen, the cookies, and the cold crisp air. May you take mini vacations in your mind as you pause and think on the journey to Bethlehem, the song of the angels, or the newborn babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in the manger. May your heart be lifted with the songs of the season, and may you find humor in the hustle and bustle and even in the superhuman expectations you place upon yourself. And may your joy increase more and more, along with your strength, in the year to come.
And to all of my friends, I pray that the grace, mercy, and peace of God overtake you and strengthen you, equipping you for all that is ahead of you in 2025. May you enjoy deep intimacy with the Lord, and may His voice become clearer, your sight more focused, and His Word sweeter as you journey with Him throughout the coming year.
And tonight, may every one of you find time to sneak away and snatch some silence on this holy eve. I pray that tonight, whether by candlelight, firelight, Christmas lights, or by the light of the stars or the moon, you take the time to steal away and to say thank You to the One who came to earth as that precious Baby so long ago. And as you do, may He fill your heart with His wonderful presence.
Silent night, holy night!
All is calm, all is bright.
Round yon Virgin, Mother and Child.
Holy infant so tender and mild,
Sleep in heavenly peace,
Sleep in heavenly peace. (By Joseph Mohr, 1816)
Merry Christmas and may God bless each one of you, my dear friends.
Dorothy
© 2015; updated 2024, Dorothy Frick
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Dwelling place
Because you have made the Lord, my refuge, even the Most High, your dwelling place,
No evil will befall you, nor will any plague come near your tent. Psalm 91:9-10
WARNING: Do not use Scripture as a good luck charm, magic potion, or spell to “manifest” your secret wants. Scripture is God’s personal letter to His people for us to use in developing our relationship with Him in the vast spectrum of life’s matters. Psalm 91 is likely the clearest portion of His Word regarding His protective nature toward people; it reveals His rock-solid determination to stand with you, guard you, guide you, protect you, heal you, and help you through the ups and downs of your life. And, seeing as Psalm 91 is, like most of Scripture, a relational guide for us humans in our interactions with the Most High, it also discloses what our part of the deal is.
Because you have made the Lord, my refuge…
You have a choice in this matter. You can MAKE the Lord your refuge—your place of shelter, protection, or safety. You don’t have to. It is entirely up to you, and He will 100% allow you your choice. In fact, you can use Him as a “sometimes” refuge, the One you go to from time to time, and He will honor that. However, as with most relationships, this “on and off” mentality can wear thin, and true intimacy and connection will never fully materialize. You see, there is Someone else in this interplay besides you…
…even the Most High, your dwelling place…
The time came in my life when using the Lord as my “sometimes” refuge wasn’t cutting it. I clearly saw my need to give all of myself to Him—for all time. And something very amazing happened…He became my dwelling place. Jesus said, “I am now standing at the door and am knocking. If anyone listens to My voice and opens the door, I will go in to be with him and will feast with him, and he shall feast with Me” (Revelation 3:20, Weymouth NT). What a blessing to know that you are never alone, that Someone greater than you loves you, cares for you, and has promised to never leave you or forsake you! (See Hebrews 13:5b.)
Just one more verse about this concept of making the Lord your dwelling place—or in other words, your home. Jesus was talking to one of His disciples along this line and said, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him” (John 14:23). The fact that you are loved is clear. That the Creator of all things wants to live with you in an ever-deepening, give and take fellowship is mind-boggling!
No evil will befall you, nor will any plague come near your tent.
BECAUSE you’ve made the LORD, even the Most High, your dwelling place, these things are yours to BELIEVE and EMBRACE by faith:
No evil will befall you… Truth be told, I’ve had some scary things happen since I’ve made Jesus my Lord. I’ve also experienced broken relationships and friendships, have lost loved ones and dear friends to death, and have had to have various surgeries (including open heart). I’ve been sick more than once and have broken a few bones. I’ve suffered rejection, humiliation, and excruciating loneliness at times. I’ve cried more than a few times out of genuine hurt and then again, at times, from self-pity or rage. Nevertheless, through all of these difficulties, the Living God kept right on being my God, holding me, steadying me, and bringing me through to the end of each dark tunnel. Therefore, I can boldly say, No evil has befallen me.
Because of His amazing care, I am still alive. Once, probably in 2010, I heard the Lord say one Monday, “Don’t mow your lawn on Thursday.” (Thursday was my go-to day for mowing.) Wednesday came, and I had a hundred excuses why I didn’t want to mow that day, but I could sense His powerful nudge, “MOW! NOW!” I did and then came back inside, took a shower and made dinner. Thursday morning around 10:30, I was in the kitchen looking out the window into my backyard. My cats sat at the screen door, also looking out. Suddenly, a deafening CRACK! sounded. A large silver maple had just given up the ghost! TIMBER! It fell across the width of my backyard and clipped a large branch off of another tree on the opposite side. WHOOOOMFFF! Down it went! The cats looked at me, I looked at them; all of us looked back out at the splintered mass of trunk and branches in the yard under which I would’ve been squashed like a bug…and I started DANCING! I whooped and hollered and danced and praised God throughout the house, thankful for His simple instruction on Monday, “Don’t mow your lawn on Thursday,” and super thankful that I didn’t ignore His nagging, pushy prompting on Wednesday to “MOW! NOW!”
…nor will any plague come near your tent. We lived through a couple of years of plague-related panic not even five years ago. Although I didn’t lose any friends or loved ones to the virus we faced, I know many who did, and the fear and grief of that time is indelibly etched in our national and global consciousness. I remember in those early days of the shutdown how the lack of knowledge about this thing, its transmission, and how to treat it brought fear to many. And there I was, in early spring as trees and other plant life started pollinating, that I experienced serious shortness of breath. I was alarmed. Today, I realize I was suffering then from an allergy-induced asthmatic reaction, but back then, everything was suspect. I prayed and paced my house several hours a day, and slowly calm and peace regained control of my mind. I knew that the Greek word for “Spirit” (pneuma) was the same as the word for each of these: “breath,” “lungs,” and “air”. So, knowing that my Father would make a way for my health, I prayed, “Holy Pneuma, I ask You to breathe Your pneuma into my pneumas and bring forth fullness of life to my airways! In Jesus’ name, Amen!” Over time, my lungs started opening back up, and what a blessing it was to breathe WITH the Holy Spirit!
We all know that we live in an imperfect, messy, germy, dangerous world. But the Lord has chosen to take a special interest in each one of us…and to go the distance with YOU if you are willing to go the distance with HIM.
…I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. Revelation 3:20, NKJV
Dorothy
© 2024, Dorothy Frick
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